eam Dubya is bringing democracy to the people of Iraq. That's nice. Too bad America ain't a democracy. We're a representative republic. And that ain't the same thing, folks. Not even close. You see a representative republic means that 51% of the people can't tell you to drink some Hemlock just because they think you're corrupting the youth. Don't believe me? Well now, then let's take a look at the text of Iraq's Constitution that's being put to a vote this weekend. That document is a million miles away from anything America's founding fathers would have tolerated. Here's why....

Background

The following is the full text of the draft constitution being voted on by Iraqis in Saturday's referendum. It was translated from the Arabic by the United Nation's Office for Constitutional Support, and the translation was approved by the Iraqi government. Items in parentheses are amendments approved Wednesday by parliament and translated by The Associated Press. The amendments were made too late to be included in the U.N.-translated text being distributed to Iraqi voters and will be publicized in the press.

An Exegetical Commentary
of the Iraqi Constitution

We have printed the English language text of the Iraqi Constitution that's being voted on Saturday in Blood Red bold Verdana type font, like this, along with our exegetical commentary on the document. Our observations are posted in Navy Blue bold italic Verdana type font, like this. Why am I using blood red type for the text of Iraq's draft Constitution? Read it through with me and you'll understand why....

THE PREAMBLE

In the name of God, the most merciful, the most compassionate...

Uh, oh. Now I know we're in trouble deep. That's gotta be referring to Islam's false demon god they call Allah, after the seventh century CE Arabian desert demon that Muhammed recast from being one of 360 gods worshipped at the Ka'abah to being chief honcho of Mecca. No Christian or Jew ever talks about God that way.

We have honored the sons of Adam.

The hell you have.

We are the people of the land between two rivers, the homeland of the apostles and prophets,....

No Christian apostle was ever born in Babylon... All the Tanakh's prophets were Jews, except maybe for Elijah, who might have been a convert. So right in the first couple of sentences we know we're not dealing with the Judeo-Christian tradition. Then again, Abraham was a convert from idolatry. He used to worship a moon god when he lived in Ur of the Chaldees under the name of Abram. But the true and living God called him out from that idolatry to worship HaShem, as my Jewish friends call him out of respect.

...abode of the virtuous imams,...

I'll concede the point, if you think the term "virtuous" means it's okay to kill anybody with whom you have a theological disagreement.

...pioneers of civilization, crafters of writing...

Don't look now, but I could have sworn that nobody really knows where writing got started. My Jewish friends think God gave it to man so he could remember his rules and regulations under the Noachite administration before the Law was handed down as described in the book of Exodus.

...and cradle of numeration.

Uh, so Muslims invented the number zero. It's really nothing....

Upon our land the first law made by man was passed, the most ancient just pact for homelands policy was inscribed,...

So Adam and Eve settled in ancient Babylonia, did they? After the fall? Hmmm. That might explain how the human race got so f****d up, come to think of it...

...and upon our soil, companions of the Prophet and saints prayed,

Yeah, right. When they were sent to Babylon in the Diaspora, exiled from the Holy Land because they had become idolaters like Muhammad, worshipping the moon, or worshipping the Host of Heaven instead of the true and living God. Well, at least we can say one thing for modern day Israelis. They don't worship rocks. The secular ones may worship VISA cards, but they don't worship rocks.

...philosophers and scientists theorized and writers and poets excelled.

Actually, our side of the story says the philosophers and scientists lived in ancient Greece. Folk like Aristotle and Socrates.

Acknowledging God's right over us,...

The demon god Allah. Not the God of the Tanakh.

...and in fulfillment of the call of our homeland and citizens, and in response to the call of our religious and national leaderships and the determination of our great (religious) authorities and of our leaders and reformers,

Uh, well now, at least in response to the call of the ones who are being supported by Team Dubya, you mean...

...and in the midst of an international support from our friends

Yes, sir. All two of them.

...and those who love us,

Wait, wait! Didn't Henry Kissinger once say that no nation has friends. Only interests. And as for love, of course the conservative, Wahhabi-type, radical Muslims love Iraq. They'd love to kill everybody who doesn't believe their way...

marched for the first time in our history toward the ballot boxes by the millions, men and women, young and old, on the thirtieth of January two thousand and five,

Yeah, right. It's the first time because the country has never before been ruled by anybody other than dictators, tyrant kings, and psychotic caliphates...

...invoking the pains of sectarian oppression sufferings inflicted by the autocratic clique and inspired by the tragedies of Iraq's martyrs, Shiite and Sunni,

Uh, don't look now, but don't you remember that the Shi'ites slaughtered the Sunni, and the Sunni slaughtered the Shi'ites, all in the name of Muslim unity...

Arabs and Kurds and Turkmen and from all the other components of the people

Oh yeah, I forgot. And the Sunnis and Shi'ites both murdered the Kurds....

and recollecting the darkness of the ravage of the holy cities and the South in the Sha'abaniyya uprising and burnt by the flames of grief of the mass graves, the marshes, Al-Dujail and others and articulating the sufferings of racial oppression in the massacres of Halabcha, Barzan, Anfal and the Fayli Kurds and inspired by the ordeals of the Turkmen in Basheer and as is the case in the remaining areas of Iraq where the people of the west suffered from the assassinations of their leaders, symbols and elderly and from the displacement of their skilled individuals and from the drying out of their cultural and intellectual wells,

That's the way to go, folks! Memorialize your hatred right there in the very Preamble to your Constitution! That way, every generation to come can remain certain never to forgive, never to lay down its animosity, and can always carry a grudge right next to its collective heart, ready to flare up in a second or two into another genocide. Way to go, Team Dubya, way to go! Keep the hellish hatred alive for the next thousand years!

so we sought hand in hand and shoulder to shoulder to create our new Iraq, the Iraq of the future free from sectarianism, racism, locality complex, discrimination and exclusion.

Uh-huh. Judenfrei? Free from anything other than rule by Sharia. What a mockery of democracy, Team Dubya...

Accusations of being infidels,...

Who would dare say cutting people's heads off for not thinking Allah is the same as HaShem is the mark of being an infidel?

and terrorism did not stop us from marching forward to build a nation of law.

What law? Common Law traditions of England (upon which America was founded)? Not hardly. Rule of Sharia, by which all decisions are based on the Qur'an and the Hadith? That's what this sentence really means, folks.

Sectarianism and racism have not stopped us from marching together to strengthen our national unity,

We'll grant that point. The national unity of Iraq, if there ever comes about such a thing, will definitely be based on sectarianism and racism. The sectarianism of Islam that kills all who aren't followers of Muhammed, and the racism of the Qur'an, which tells Islam to subjugate into slavery all who are people of the Book.

and to follow the path of peaceful transfer of power and adopt the course of the just distribution of resources and providing equal opportunity for all.

Uh, well, equal opportunity for all Muslim men, you mean. Women probably won't get drivers licenses, like is the case in Saudi Arabia.

We the people of Iraq who have just risen from our stumble, and who are looking with confidence to the future through a republican, federal, democratic, pluralistic system,

That ain't gonna happen if the previous sentences of this Constitution are implemented, that's for sure...

have resolved with the determination of our men, women,

All right! Enough already! This document has to be a lie, since women have no rights under Sharia.

the elderly and youth, to respect the rules of law, to establish justice and equality...

Dammit, you keep forgetting that there's no justice for women in Islam and Sharia, unless you call restrictions on how many times you can beat up your wife is a demonstration of equality and justice...

to cast aside the politics of aggression,...

What about the practice of aggression, or incitements to aggression through government rhetoric?

and to tend to the concerns of women and their rights,...

That'll be easy to do under Islamic Sharia. You don't have to do anything, since women have no rights under Sharia.

and to the elderly and their concerns, and to children and their affairs and to spread a culture of diversity and defusing terrorism.

Just how does one defuse terrorism, since the fuse of terrorism is Islam, its explosive is the Qur'an's hatred of disbelief in Allah, and its destructive power is the intolerance of disobedience to the Hadith?

We the people of Iraq of all components and shades...

Except for Jews, Christians, Secular Humanists, women...

have taken upon ourselves to decide freely and with our choice to unite our future and to take lessons from yesterday for tomorrow, to draft,...

Ah, Lord God, if only this were true. They never took it upon themselves. They needed help from Team Dubya, otherwise they'd still be living under Saddam Hussein's hegemony.

through the values and ideals of the heavenly messages...

Damn! There's the Qur'an again....

and the findings of science and man's civilization,...

That's cute. Mohammed taught that the sun sets in a puddle of water at night. And a bunch of other stupid stuff. Don't believe me. Visit our Islam Comic Book web site for the documentation right from the Qur'an and the Hadith.

this lasting constitution...

Uh-huh. It will last alright. Until the next coup.

The adherence to this constitution preserves for Iraq its free union, its people, its land and its sovereignty.

SECTION ONE: FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES

Article 1:

The Republic of Iraq is a single, independent federal state with full sovereignty. Its system of government is republican, representative Parliamentary and democratic. This Constitution is the guarantor of its unity.

Uh, and based on the Qur'an. Don't believe so? Read the next article...

Article 2:

First: Islam is the official religion of the State and it is a fundamental source of legislation:

A. No law that contradicts the established provisions of Islam may be established.

Women can't vote. You can own black slaves (Mohammed did.) It's okay to kill Jews and Christians. And other unbelievers in Islam.

B. No law that contradicts the principles of democracy may be established.

Now they're really in trouble. Article 2(B) contradicts the established provisions of Islam!!!

C. No law that contradicts the rights and basic freedoms stipulated in this constitution may be established.

So does Article 2(C), come to think of it....

Second: This Constitution guarantees the Islamic identity of the majority of the Iraqi people and guarantees the full religious rights of all individuals to freedom of religious belief and practice such as Christians, Yazedis, and Mandi Sabeans.

But not for Jews, of course. Oh yeah, I forgot. The goal of Islamic governments of late has been to get all Jews together into one place in Israel. So the Muslims can push all Jews into the sea at once.

Article 3:

Iraq is a country of many nationalities, religions and sects and is a founding and active member of the Arab League and is committed to its covenant. Iraq is a part of the Islamic world.

And therefore rests under the wrath of the God who loves Israel and its people. I'm so thankful I'm not living in an Islamic paradise. Yet. But then again, maybe Charles Welty's Ameristan isn't all that far away, is it?

Article 4:

First: The Arabic language and Kurdish language are the two official languages of Iraq. The right of Iraqis to educate their children in their mother tongue, such as Turkmen, Syriac and Armenian, in government educational institutions in accordance with educational guidelines, or in any other language in private educational institutions, is guaranteed.

Second: The scope of the term official language and the means of applying the provisions of this article shall be defined by law which shall include:

A. Publication of the official gazette, in the two languages;

B. Speech, conversation and expression in official settings, such as the Council of Representatives, the Council of Ministers, courts, and official conferences, in either of the two languages;

C. Recognition and publication of the official documents and correspondences in the two languages;

D. Opening schools that teach the two languages, in accordance with the educational guidelines;

E. Use of both languages in any settings enjoined by the principle of equality such as bank notes, passports and stamps.

Third: The federal institutions and agencies in the Kurdistan region shall use the Arabic and Kurdish languages.

Fourth: The Turkmen language and Syriac language are two other official languages in the administrative units in which they represent density of population.

Fifth: Each region or governorate may adopt any other local language as an additional official language if the majority of its population so decide in a general referendum.

Hmmm. Broken clocks are right twice a day... Nice gesture. See, not everything in this crappy document is, uh, er, well, crappy.

Article 5: The law is sovereign. The people are the source of authorities and its legitimacy, which the people shall exercise in a direct general secret ballot and through their constitutional institutions.

Which means that no law is above the law. Any law can be passed with the consent of the people. Do keep in mind that this sentence contradicts the Qur'an, won't you please?

Article 6:

Transfer of authority shall be made peacefully through democratic means as stipulated in this Constitution.

Uh, which is ruled by the Qur'an. Which doesn't leave much room for peace...

Article 7:

First: No entity or program, under any name, may adopt racism, terrorism, the calling of others infidels, ethnic cleansing, or incite, facilitate, glorify, promote, or justify thereto, especially the Saddamist Baath in Iraq and its symbols, regardless of the name that it adopts. This may not be part of the political pluralism in Iraq. This will be organized by law.

...which laws must conform to the Qur'an and Islam. Uh, come to think of it, Islam calls others infidels, is the motivating force behind racism and terrorism, and ethnic cleansing, and is not part of political pluralism in any country. All of this means, folks, that Team Dubya's efforts in Iraq will fail.

Second: The State shall undertake combating terrorism in all its forms,...

Remember, though, that Islam is not terrorism, under their definitions. So don't think there won't be executions of infidels.

and shall work to protect its territories from being a base or pathway or field for terrorist activities.

Iraq may, however, sponsor Islamic conversion teams that utilize explosive belts as their uniform of choice, since such things are sanctioned under Islam.

Article 8:

Iraq shall observe the principles of a good neighborliness, adhere to the principle of non-interference in the internal affairs of other states, endeavor to settle disputes by peaceful means, establish relations on the basis of mutual interests and reciprocity, and respect its international obligations.

...as long as they can carry snow balls through Hell at the same time.

Article 9:

First:

A. The Iraqi Armed Forces and Security Services will be composed of the components of the Iraqi people with due consideration given to its balance and its similarity without discrimination or exclusion and shall be subject to the control of the civilian authority. The Iraqi Armed Forces shall defend Iraq and shall not be used as an instrument of oppression against the Iraqi people, shall not interfere in the political affairs and shall have no role in the transfer of authority.

Half the fun of watching the new Iraq will be the entertainment value implicit in starting an office pool to see how long it takes the Iraqi government to blow this paragraph to smithereens....

B. The formation of military militia outside the framework of the armed forces is prohibited.

So much for America's Second Amendment! Way to go, Team Dubya!

C. The Iraqi Armed Forces and its personnel, including military personnel working at the Ministry of Defense or any subordinate departments or organizations, may not stand for election to political office, campaign for candidates, or participate in other activities prohibited by the Ministry of Defense regulations.

Praise Allah! Nobody like General Eisenhower, George Bush (41), George Bush (43), George Washington, or General Grant can ever be president of Iraq. Way to go, Team Dubya!

This ban encompasses the activities of the personnel mentioned above acting in their personal or official capacities. Nothing in this Article shall infringe upon the right of these personnel to cast their vote in the elections.

Praise Allah, again! At least folks of the ilk of General Eisenhower, George Bush (41), George Bush (43), George Washington, or General Grant can vote, though! Way to go, Team Dubya!

D. The Iraqi National Intelligence Service shall collect information, assess threats to national security, and advise the Iraqi government.

Imagine that! Putting the foundation for a police state right into the Iraqi Constitution from the get-go! 

This service shall be under civilian control and shall be subject to legislative oversight and shall operate in accordance with the law and pursuant to the recognized principles of human rights.

...which means it's subject to Qur'anic interpretation, of course, which has no recognized principles of human rights.

E. The Iraqi Government shall respect and implement Iraq's international obligations regarding the non-proliferation, non-development, non-production, and nonuse of nuclear, chemical, and biological weapons, and shall prohibit associated equipment, materiel, technologies, and delivery systems for use in the development, manufacture, production, and use of such weapons.

Sounds like that's a sop to Team Dubya. Please, don't plant a suitcase nuke in our backyard. Well, come to think of it, Paul Williams says they already have....

Second: National service will be stipulated by law.

...which is controlled by the Qur'an, which supports human slavery. Now they'll just call it "National service". Mr. Orwell is obviously an ex officio member of Team Dubya.

Article 10:

The holy shrines and religious places in Iraq are religious and cultural entities. The State is committed to confirming and safeguarding their sanctity, and guaranteeing the free practice of rituals in them.

Rituals such as cutting off the hands and feet of thieves...

Article 11:

Baghdad is the capital of the Republic of Iraq.

Dammit, I wanna see them make Babylon the capital. So Hal Lindsey can sell some more books about the End Times.

Article 12:

First: The flag, national anthem, and emblem of Iraq shall be fixed by law in a way that represents the components of the Iraqi people.

Just how do you depict Mohammed holding a slave's leash around the neck of a raisin-headed black guy? Don't call me a racist—that's the exact wording of how the Hadith depicts the man's ownership of black slaves.

Second: A law shall regulate the decorations, official holidays, religious and national occasions and the Hijri and Gregorian calendar.

Gregorian calendar? A Christian invention? Amazing! Will wonders never cease?

Article 13:

First: This constitution is the sublime and supreme law in Iraq...

Don't look now, but you misspelled the word "sublime". You meant to write "slime". The word "sublime" means "of a high, spiritual, moral, or intellectual worth; not to be excelled; supreme, inspiring awe; or impressive." This document ain't none of these things.

...and shall be binding in all parts of Iraq without exception.

Except if anything in the Constitution contradicts the Qur'an, which just about all of it does...

Second: No law shall be enacted that contradicts this constitution....

Uh, then again, there's that "no contradicting the Qur'an" part that gets in the way. Ain't truth a bitch!

Any text in any regional constitutions or any other legal text that contradicts it is deemed void.

Yeah, but the whole Qur'an contradicts the human freedoms to which lip service is given in this Constitution!

Concluding Thoughts

And for this piece of crap 2,000+ Americans have died? Maybe Cindy Sheehan ain't quite as crazy as I thought.... No, there's gotta be something I'm missing here...

May the living God bless those who bless Abraham and his rightful heirs to Ha-Aretz. We are Dar al-Harb†—and proud of it.

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